Tuesday 10 May 2016

What is the difference between LIKE and LOVE?

Chapter 29. She’s everywhere, Page No. 69-71 from my book "My Experience with TRUE LOVE...".

Why she’s got everywhere?

Really that‟s a very interesting question. When people fell
in love they used to tell that their beloved one is
everywhere. We feel her presence everywhere whether she
is actually there or not. Everywhere means all places we
visit from morning to evening like hostel, library, office,
ground, garden etc. and especially when we are alone. It
would be perhaps impossible to answer this question
scientifically but spiritually I could explain it. She is love
for me and love is a feeling of being connectedness and by
feeling this connectedness (link) between us, we could feel
love which further means we, by feeling the link with her
could feel her presence at any time at any place. If I want to
have her with me, I simply need to feel the link between us
and she would be with me. That must sound crazy and yes
love is crazy but this craziness must be kept under check
before you create your own virtual world. I have
experienced this craziness to a dangerous level, yes up to
creating a virtual world. Thank God, somehow I came out
of it. Okay, now there is another question-

How do we recognize her entry into our environment?

Another interesting question, I can give spiritual and
scientific explanations to this question. First let us
understand the question. It simply means that suppose I am
sitting in the library in science section and she enters the
science section then I could recognize her without looking
at her and crazy things like that. In scientific view point this
is because we have seen her myriad times. We know her
minute details about her dressing sense, her walking style,
her talking style, her smile, her gestures, her postures, the
way she deals with the things, the way she react to me and
so on. Now when any of her characteristic matches with the
already present details in our mind then we could predict
her presence in our environment. When she enters into our
environment (say enter into science section or comes out of
book section) without looking at her I could tell that it was
she. It is obvious that for this explanation to work, she must
be in our view because we get some signals then our mind
do pattern matching and predicts the output. In spiritual
terms perhaps these are the feelings which do this trick. I
used to see her every time she enters science section. In fact
I must say I used to see only her when she entered my
environment using the same funda.

We are taking questions so let us take one more interesting
question.

What is the difference between like and love?

When some trait/quality of some object is of your interest
then you like it e.g. you go for shopping, there are many
kind of dresses but you choose those that matches your
interest and thus you like them. On the other hand when
you are drawn towards something without any logic, you
feel connected and happy around that object, and it‟s a
feeling that connects you with that object then it‟s your
love for that particular object e.g. relation between mother
and child. So liking something is based on physical traits
and loving something is based on feelings. Thus I can like
many good girls who have good nature or who looks good
but I can love only that girl for whom I have feelings. I
hope I made sense to you. Moreover Buddha has very
beautifully differentiated like and love by the statement:-
When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you
love a flower, you water it daily.

Friday 6 May 2016

Love is Pain

Chapter - 28. Love is Pain, page nos. 67-68 from my book "My Experience with TRUE LOVE...".

Somebody has rightly said, “Love is Pain”. Is it really? Yes
of course it is, somebody has not said it blindly rather after
experiencing it. Actually it is and it is not. First let‟s see
why love is not pain. I would like to use the concept of
spirituality to explain this. Love being a spiritual and it is
successful and complete when you realize the feelings of
love for somebody. It doesn‟t need to be both sided, when
you love someone special then you need not be loved back.
There is no expectation in love and due to lack of these
expectations, love is painless. This is because-
“Expectations are the root causes of all human sorrows”
–JMD
Actually what is sorrow? In first place it is non- fulfillment
of our expectations. So when our expectations are not met,
we are hurt, we are sad. So mantra for being happy in life is
to keep your expectations minimum. The spiritual theory of
love is very simple: You have feelings for somebody. You
just feel it, realize it and move on. That‟s all it needs. No
expectation no pain.
Now let‟s consider the other case- Love is Pain. As I
already said yes it is, I wouldn‟t move against the well said
statement by some other lover. No doubt Love is spiritual
but we are materialistic and so we have material nature.
Love (spiritual thing) need to be experienced through us
(material beings) so we couldn‟t get rid of the material
nature. Material nature simply means we do expect
something when we do something to others. That means
when I love somebody I expect to be loved back in the
same spirit. But unfortunately that‟s not possible in all the
cases and this is where pain arises in love. Our expectations
broke and we are hurt. More expectations, more the
probability of being hurt. I am loving her she must love me,
I am wishing her she must wish me, I am caring about her
she must care for me, I help her she must help me, I am
looking at her she must look back, etc. All these are
expectations which have probability to hurt you. Okay so
now question arises what to do? Should we expect or not?
In first place if you could reduce your expectations then
that would be the best case, just keep loving silently. In
second place yes you should expect, if your most generic
expectations are met in that case you are lucky you have
got the best partner otherwise just try to understand your
partner and if required compromise.
You might be thinking that throughout the book I kept
saying that love is spiritual and at the same time I talked
about my hurt feelings. So you already know the answer.
No doubt love is spiritual but after all my existence is
material. I had feelings for her and I expected her to have
feelings for me that was the source of hurt feelings for me
and like that.